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ReneeUpNorth's avatar

Thank you for this beautiful and insightful piece. Once again, you have taken a human experience that is painful and helped us to find where we can still find our joy. We need people such as yourself now more than ever.

Having experienced one of those shattering breaks with a 20 year relationship, I was alarmed at how much of my joy I had tangled into being in the relationship. Once i got through the initial pain and grief, I vowed to never tie my joy and happiness to a relationship again, I learned that it belongs to me, no matter where I go or who I am with.

I absolutely love the dance with the DJ….I definitely heard “you can do it, put your back into it” as the beat track 😂

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Gurdeep Pandher's avatar

Thanks, Renee, for sharing your thoughts. I am also glad that your experience gave you a meaningful perspective. Thanks also for appreciating the video!

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MJ Berry's avatar

Love your writing and videos they bring joy to the day...thank you

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Claire Paxton's avatar

This was so beautifully written- thank you so much!

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Superball's avatar

Beautifully put, Gurdeep, thank you. And it could be that we will meet someone who will dance with us to the end of one or both of us—and that is the end we must prepare for. They still continue on within us. As one who has done the leaving as well, I have happier memories of the ones who respectfully allowed me to go than of ones who tried to stop me from leaving when I knew it was time.

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Cathy Potter's avatar

Yes very poignant & relatable.What it does not speak to is those of us who have been discarded do no longer possess the ability to joyfully dance and move to Bhangra we are hollow & stationary . What now?? We have been fooled.

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MR ROBERT THOMPSON's avatar

Your reference to a bird's nest is poignant Gurdeep. There is beauty in anticipation, purpose can be found in attending to the framework of relationship. Hope is found here; in the active desire to love and be loved. Your message to me, and other readers perhaps, is to not fear the risk of sharing your personhood. Openness and honesty must be the fabric of the metaphorical nests we build. Beautiful writing my friend, your best essay yet.

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Diana Juhasz's avatar

I really needed to read this today. Thank you for helping to shift perspective from things I cannot control, towards gratitude and joy.

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Sarina Renee's avatar

When I dated my ex-husband for the first 6 months of our relationship, things were really good! He was my high school sweetheart. We met halfway through grade 12. Boy was I excited about him! I was so in-love with him. But then I started to notice changes in him, especially once we moved in together the following October 1. He became severely jealous & possessive of me. He became controlling. I married him anyway thinking my commitment to him would bring back the old him that I was so very in-love with. It took me several years to figure out what happened. I realized, for the first 6 months we were dating, he was on his best behaviour. And the awful man I was married to was the real him. What a rude awakening! I divorced him and never fell in-love again. I got married again to another man but the innocence was lost. I wasn’t as naive. I divorced him too. And there was more romantic relationships I went through. For the past 15 years, I remain single by choice and much happier for it. I love my space! But it’s sad to think that someone might enter a romantic relationship prepared for the uncoupling, if that were to be the case. It’s best to enter a partnership with hope & optimism. Don’t doom it before it’s begun. Intentions are everything!

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Deni's avatar

Beautifully put, such a joyful thoughtful piece, video excellent as always, thank you 😊

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