How to Find Joy: A Question Beyond Any Price Tag
The key difference isn't whether we feel emotions like anger, sadness, or frustration—it's how we handle and work through them.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F56d2f3a5-b857-4098-9bd0-af70cacbc642_3000x2004.jpeg)
This is far more than just a million dollar question. This is a question whose value transcends any monetary measurement, a question that resonates deeply with every human soul searching for meaning and fulfillment in life. How to find joy, what path should we take? While sadness seems to find us effortlessly and difficulties appear at every corner, discovering genuine joy often feels like searching for a rare treasure. But there is a way forward.
First and foremost, we must acknowledge that finding joy requires conscious effort. You possess within yourself all the essential tools needed for this journey—your energy, your determination, and most importantly, your heart. The path to joy begins with these fundamental elements that already reside within you.
I experience sadness and anger just like anyone else. However, what sets my experience apart is not the absence of these emotions, but rather how I choose to manage them. When sadness visits me, I don't view it as an unwelcome intruder, but rather as an integral part of my emotional spectrum, teaching me valuable lessons about myself. When anger surfaces, I consciously choose not to direct it outward or let it harm myself or others. Instead, I acknowledge its presence, allow it to flow through me naturally, and gradually transition back to a state of joy and peace.
This approach works because I understand that anger, like all emotions, is simply part of being human – even animals experience these basic emotions. The key distinction lies not in experiencing emotions like anger, sadness, or frustration, but in how we process and manage them. These emotions aren't inherently negative; they're vital components of our emotional landscape. The crucial question becomes: how do we navigate these emotional waters effectively?
I want to be completely open—I don't maintain a state of joy 24/7, and claiming otherwise would be disingenuous. However, what I do practice is making joy a daily ritual, a conscious choice I return to repeatedly. Even when life presents challenges that trigger negative emotions, I make a deliberate effort to find my way back to joy, back to inner peace, back to my emotional center. I've learned to set healthy boundaries with negative emotions, not allowing them to overstay their welcome or drag me down indefinitely.
Let me illustrate this with a personal story from my university days. Many students postponed their celebrations until graduation day, planning elaborate festivities for when they'd receive their degrees. Yet when that long-awaited day finally arrived, the momentum had faded, and the celebration felt hollow. Students had become so caught up in other matters that they'd nearly forgotten the joyous celebration they'd spent years anticipating. This teaches us a valuable lesson: those who find joy in the journey itself—who appreciate ordinary moments and find beauty in everyday experiences—tend to be more consistently joyful than those who wait for "perfect times."
Several key practices contribute to cultivating joy—maintaining mindful breathing patterns, creating space for wellness activities, nurturing a positive heart, and keeping a broader life perspective. However, the most crucial aspect is transforming these practices into consistent daily rituals. Regular, intentional engagement proves far more beneficial than sporadic implementation. By integrating these elements into our daily routine, we create a sustainable foundation for lasting joy, rather than treating them as occasional solutions to emotional challenges. I spent six years in two cabins in the wilderness of the Yukon in search of these spaces where I could disconnect and connect with my inner self. This experience helped me stay constantly in touch with inner joy.
We must also confront the pervasive and often subtle trap of comparisons that can silently erode our capacity for joy. This tendency manifests in various aspects of our lives—perhaps you find yourself scrutinizing your appearance in relation to others, analyzing your financial position compared to your colleagues, or measuring your career trajectory against those of your peers. These comparative thoughts, though natural, inevitably create an emotional distance between ourselves and authentic joy. They establish artificial benchmarks that shift constantly, making contentment an ever-moving target. A genuinely joyful individual understands that true worth cannot and should not be quantified through external metrics or validation. This includes, but extends far beyond, the superficial measures of modern life—the number of likes on your social media posts, the comments on your shared content, or the broader social approval that many unconsciously seek. Such external validation provides only fleeting satisfaction while potentially deepening our dependence on others' opinions for our sense of self-worth.
The landscape of global challenges presents significant obstacles to maintaining our joy and inner peace. Contemporary issues spanning international conflicts, geopolitical power struggles, and complex diplomatic maneuvers can weigh heavily on our collective consciousness. The constant barrage of negative news headlines, coupled with the widespread dissemination of misleading information across social media platforms, creates an environment that can easily diminish our sense of well-being. Additionally, the increasingly evident social divisions and the concerning rise in expressions of animosity between different groups, cultures, and religions further contribute to this emotional burden. When confronting these challenges, it becomes crucial to develop a discerning and analytical approach to processing information. Rather than passively accepting every headline or social media post at face value, we must cultivate the skill of critical evaluation. This involves carefully examining the context, sources, and underlying motivations behind the information we encounter, allowing us to maintain a more balanced perspective and protect our emotional well-being from the potentially overwhelming effects of global, national, and regional events and social discourse.
While exploring the theme of joy, I'd like to share a heartwarming video that captures the essence of natural beauty and serenity around my cabin in the Yukon wilderness. This visual journey not only complements our discussion about finding joy but also provides a tangible example of how connecting with nature can nurture our inner peace and happiness. Enjoy:
True joy represents something infinitely precious and profoundly meaningful in the human experience. It transcends the superficial and temporary nature of fleeting pleasures or external forms of entertainment that we often mistake for genuine happiness. The joy I speak of manifests as something far more substantial — it bears a striking resemblance to inner peace, emerging as a sustained and stable state of contentment that originates from the depths of our being rather than from external circumstances. While there's nothing wrong with participating in social activities or seeking entertainment — indeed, these can be wonderful additions to our lives — it's crucial to understand that lasting, meaningful joy operates on a fundamentally different level. It represents something deeper and more essential to our overall well-being and spiritual fulfillment. This authentic joy exists as an internal state of being, one that we don't stumble upon by accident but rather cultivate intentionally through consistent mindful awareness and conscious, deliberate choices in how we perceive and interact with the world around us.
*****
Dear reader,
I've chosen to keep my articles free to ensure they remain accessible to everyone, regardless of their income. I don't wish to create barriers for those facing financial hardship. If you have stable employment and a steady income, though, I trust you'll read my articles as a paid subscriber.
If you can, write your thoughts in the comments below.
Cheerfully,
Gurdeep
This is such a valuable lesson for all of us in these troubled times. People are feeling frightened, saddened, hopeless and angry. Your advice is a tangible way to refocus our energy. I personally have rediscovered how listening to music I love can bring me from any of those states back to, while perhaps not joy, but at least calmness. We’re also walking our dog more often and longer each day, no matter how cold. Being outside really helps most of all. Thank you Gurdeep and once again thank you for choosing Canada as your home 🇨🇦❤️
Controlling what we pay attention to - what I pay attention to - is helping me keep a more positive outlook, more loving-myself behaviours, and building new routines in my daily life. Saw a 'left-over' yellow rose bud yesterday on my walk, making me smile as I touched it gently and walked on. Saw a hummingbird which comes by almost every morning and finds 'something' to eat on the evergreens in front of my apartment, then flits-flits away. Little moments. I find them more often now. They build more resilience in my attitudes, I think... Glad I found your writings and bhangra dancing, Gurdeep - reminding me I am in control of my feelings. Cheers!