My advocacy for positivity isn't about denying the reality of difficult circumstances. Rather, it's about developing a balanced approach to emotional health, where sadness is also acknowledged.
Agreed about toxic positivity. One thing I’ve thought about gratitude is that it has to be recognized from within, not pushed from without. “You should be grateful for . . .” feels invalidating, erasing—although I get it if people don’t want to deal with others’ problems and so use that phrase as a shield. I think what’s healthy is looking at things that we already recognize as good to/for us—just acknowledging what’s already there.
Reality & Mystery can co-exist. Your advice to fully embrace both elements of life while not mixing them into a mumbo jumbo of thought is wise. Your Joy, Hope, and Positivity is often my go-to place of Curiosity. There is no judgement here, just Wonder.
Thank you, Robert! I read the story and the link you shared—the discovery of the ring truly feels like a miracle. I'm sorry about your mom. You're a good writer.
Thanks Gurdeep, I wrote that essay ten years ago, as a way to unravel the mixed feelings I had about my birth mother. Now I have a 95 year old in my life whom I call my ‘special mom’. She’s excited that I am a writer, very supportive. I hope I can keep her for a while longer.
Thank you! I appreciate that you take the time to reveal the importance of the "bad times". A time for everything. I would not have a deep appreciation for my good life, if I had not been through very difficult times. So grateful.
I thoroughly enjoyed the entire article, it was exceptionally well-written. I especially appreciated the use of positivity as a metaphor for boat paddles. Moreover, your ability to acknowledge past struggles, learn from them, and share them with others is very thoughtful. It beautifully mirrors the water you described earlier, flowing between well-defined riverbanks and nourishing everything around it.
I can’t thank you enough for sharing this, Dear Dr. P!
Thank you, Manu, for reading and sharing your thoughts! I'm delighted that the boat paddles analogy resonated with you. I truly appreciate your consistent readership and thoughtful comments.
Thank you for this great perspective. I agree that there can be toxic positivity - where you are asked to deny when you are feeling sad or just dealing with life. Just because we have challenges though doesn't give us the right to be awful to other though. when acknowledging our sadness or the things that are challenging us, names them but then to flip the script to seek out gratitude helps to work through that sadness. This could be the key to break through all the negativity around us, this world needs more gratitude and less polarization and hate. M
Gurdeep your analogies are beautifully stated, painting a picture of our abilities to overcome any obstacle that as people we may be presented with while on our journey. The roads that we choose to follow are greatly influenced by our desire to be happy. As people we have endless capacity to become what we want and accomplish anything we set our mind to, even controlling our moods. Our endless imaginations, dreams and drive to succeed in all that we endeavour is seen in the remarkable accomplishments that are strewn throughout our history. The remarkable technological advancement that we’ve seen in such a short time only strengthens and illustrates our capabilities. The incredible architecture such as the great Pyramids, the Great Wall of China, the Taj Mahal and the Colosseum just to mention a few show us that we can create endless possibilities for ourselves, not only physically but also mentally.
Our power to direct our own future is truly in our own minds. We can alter our own moods to find our joy through hope and positivity.
Thank you, Nick, for your thorough and thoughtful comment. I agree that humans possess an endless capacity to create joy and so much more. We have the ability to guide our moods when we choose to do so. As you noted, the power to shape our future truly resides in our minds. I appreciate you sharing your valuable insights.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and past struggles. When we’re going through hard parts of our lives it’s helpful to know others have been there and emerged from them.
Thank you, Gurdeep, for including your difficult years. You are an authentic writer about joy, hope and positivity because you have also experienced the negative end of the spectrum. I always look forward to your words of wisdom. You make a wonderful difference in many, many people's lives.
You can still be positive while recognizing negativity, sadness, and hurtful things... We all have our struggles, and we know there are a lot of things out there that can bring us down and need to be dealt with, but we need to keep a healthy balance. Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.
Agreed about toxic positivity. One thing I’ve thought about gratitude is that it has to be recognized from within, not pushed from without. “You should be grateful for . . .” feels invalidating, erasing—although I get it if people don’t want to deal with others’ problems and so use that phrase as a shield. I think what’s healthy is looking at things that we already recognize as good to/for us—just acknowledging what’s already there.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Much appreciated.
Reality & Mystery can co-exist. Your advice to fully embrace both elements of life while not mixing them into a mumbo jumbo of thought is wise. Your Joy, Hope, and Positivity is often my go-to place of Curiosity. There is no judgement here, just Wonder.
Here's what I wrote once about Miracles, which may connect with your ideas. https://catchmydrift.blog/2023/03/20/re-miracle/
Thank you, Robert! I read the story and the link you shared—the discovery of the ring truly feels like a miracle. I'm sorry about your mom. You're a good writer.
Thanks Gurdeep, I wrote that essay ten years ago, as a way to unravel the mixed feelings I had about my birth mother. Now I have a 95 year old in my life whom I call my ‘special mom’. She’s excited that I am a writer, very supportive. I hope I can keep her for a while longer.
Thank you! I appreciate that you take the time to reveal the importance of the "bad times". A time for everything. I would not have a deep appreciation for my good life, if I had not been through very difficult times. So grateful.
I agree, Ellen, that difficult times help us appreciate the value of good times.
I thoroughly enjoyed the entire article, it was exceptionally well-written. I especially appreciated the use of positivity as a metaphor for boat paddles. Moreover, your ability to acknowledge past struggles, learn from them, and share them with others is very thoughtful. It beautifully mirrors the water you described earlier, flowing between well-defined riverbanks and nourishing everything around it.
I can’t thank you enough for sharing this, Dear Dr. P!
Thank you, Manu, for reading and sharing your thoughts! I'm delighted that the boat paddles analogy resonated with you. I truly appreciate your consistent readership and thoughtful comments.
Thanks, Gurdeep. . . for lighting a thousand.
----
Hope
In the choked thoughts of a future, a past, a reality
Where embers give way to overcoming waves of despair
We sing, we look, we listen, we reach, we scream
For fragments of floating fresh air to catch bits
Enough for the next step into the darkness
Not looking for the light but being the one
That lights a thousand more
To heal the broken we help
Even when we are hurting
Especially when we ache
It lives in our hands
And engulfs our feet
A seed
Of hope.
Thanks, Karl! Great poetic words! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for this great perspective. I agree that there can be toxic positivity - where you are asked to deny when you are feeling sad or just dealing with life. Just because we have challenges though doesn't give us the right to be awful to other though. when acknowledging our sadness or the things that are challenging us, names them but then to flip the script to seek out gratitude helps to work through that sadness. This could be the key to break through all the negativity around us, this world needs more gratitude and less polarization and hate. M
I completely agree, Michele, that our world needs more gratitude and less polarization and hatred. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Dear Gurdeep - this is one of your best pieces. Thanks so much!
Thanks, dear Aurore, for your kind words!
Gurdeep your analogies are beautifully stated, painting a picture of our abilities to overcome any obstacle that as people we may be presented with while on our journey. The roads that we choose to follow are greatly influenced by our desire to be happy. As people we have endless capacity to become what we want and accomplish anything we set our mind to, even controlling our moods. Our endless imaginations, dreams and drive to succeed in all that we endeavour is seen in the remarkable accomplishments that are strewn throughout our history. The remarkable technological advancement that we’ve seen in such a short time only strengthens and illustrates our capabilities. The incredible architecture such as the great Pyramids, the Great Wall of China, the Taj Mahal and the Colosseum just to mention a few show us that we can create endless possibilities for ourselves, not only physically but also mentally.
Our power to direct our own future is truly in our own minds. We can alter our own moods to find our joy through hope and positivity.
Thank you, Nick, for your thorough and thoughtful comment. I agree that humans possess an endless capacity to create joy and so much more. We have the ability to guide our moods when we choose to do so. As you noted, the power to shape our future truly resides in our minds. I appreciate you sharing your valuable insights.
Beautiful, thank you. I also appreciated the paddling metaphor and that you shared your story.
Thank you, Sherry, for reading and sharing your thoughts!
A great article so well articulated and informative. Thank You
Thank you, Paramjit!
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and past struggles. When we’re going through hard parts of our lives it’s helpful to know others have been there and emerged from them.
Thanks for your feedback, Marie!
Thank you. Sharing our collected experience (hopefully wisdom) can be such good medicine. Good health to you beautiful person. Thank you again.
Thank you, Gurdeep, for including your difficult years. You are an authentic writer about joy, hope and positivity because you have also experienced the negative end of the spectrum. I always look forward to your words of wisdom. You make a wonderful difference in many, many people's lives.
You can still be positive while recognizing negativity, sadness, and hurtful things... We all have our struggles, and we know there are a lot of things out there that can bring us down and need to be dealt with, but we need to keep a healthy balance. Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.